Liaison office of Grand Ayatullah Sayyid Ali Al Sistani (L.M.H.L) in London, Europe, North and South America.
Question: A father asks the
friend of his son to monitor his behaviour in order to know his son’s
character.
Is the friend allowed to disclose any information regerding the
character of the son to the father that might include things that the son does
not want to be known to anyone?
Answer: It is not allowed, except when he is involved
in an evil act from which he must be stopped and that stopping him is not
possible through anything other than disclosure of his behaviour (which would
embarrass and hurt him).
Question: What is the meaning of the statement from the hadith that “the first glance is [permissible] for you, but the second one will [be held] against you”? Is it permissible to prolong the first glance while looking at a woman on the basis, as claimed by some, that it is still “the first permissible glance”?
Answer:
Apparently the meaning of the statement mentioned above is to differentiate
between the two glances in the sense that the first was just an accidental and
a passing one, and so it is considered guiltless since no lustful desires were
involved in it, as opposed to the second glance which was naturally
intentional and accompanied with an element of desire, and therefore is
detrimental.
It is because of this that a statement has been quoted by Imam
as-Sadiq (a.s) in which he says, “The glance after the [first] one creates in
the heart the desire and that is sufficient as a temptation for the
person.
”
It is, however, clear that the statement quoted in the
question does not intend to define the permissible glance on the basis of
numbers, in the sense that the first glance is permissible, even if it is
intentional and guileful from the very beginning.
Or that it becomes such, if
it is prolonged and more persistant because the on-looker cannot control it by
casting his glance away from the woman that he is looking at.
Nor does it mean
that the second glance is forbidden, even if it is for a single moment without
any lust at all.
Question: While discussing the issue of looking at a woman, many expressions are used that are not clearly defined for most people. So, what is the meaning of “ar-rayba, at-taladh-dhudh, and ash-shahwa”?
Answer: At-Taladh-dhudh and ash-shahwa
mean lustful and sexual desire, not just any lust or any desire that is part
of the human instinct that appears when one sees beautiful
scenes.
Ar-rayba means the fear of temptation or the falling
into haram.
Question: What is the limit of forbidden lust?
Answer: Its minimum limit —if
what is meant is the ranking order— i.e. it is the first stage of sexual
arousal.
Question: In British government schools
and also in other Western countries the students, male as well as females, are
taught sex education which includes detailed description of sexual organs with
or without model.
Is it permissible for a young student to attend classes like
this? Is it necessary for the parents to prevent the young child from
attending such classes when the child expresses interest in by claiming that
it will be useful for him in the future?
Answer: If attending such classes does not entail
other haram deeds like looking lustfully and, as a result of studying
that unit, would result preventy him from deviant behaviour, then there is no
problem in it.
Question: Is it permissible to recite erotic poems in presence of women without intending to woo them, or with such an intention, if they are unmarried and can be influenced by such recitation?
Answer: This is not
allowed.
Question: Is it permissible to talk to women about love without lustful intention or fear of temptation or encouraging a haram act?
Answer: Based on obligatory precaution, it is not
allowed.
Question: Is it permissible to praise in erotic poetry, or in prose, a unspecified woman or women in general?
Answer: If it is devoid of
intent to commit haram or similar acts and entails no other harm [in
moral and ethical sense], then there is no problem in it.
Question: Is it permissible to talk with women without lustful intention for the purpose of gaining satisfaction with one of them and then to propose temporary marriage to her?
Answer: If the talk is devoid of what one should be
talking about to a strange [i.e., non-mahram] woman, then there is no
problem in it.
Question: A new craze has spread in
Europe in which men wear ladies’ earrings in one or both ears.
Is this allowed
for them?
Answer: It is not
permissible if it is made of gold; rather not at all, based on obligatory
precaution.
Question: If a person commits haram by shaving his beard by razor baled on day one, is it permissible for him to do the same on the second, the third, the fourth day and so on?
Answer: It is precautionarily
compulsory to refrain from it.
Question: At times the big companies in
Europe discriminate —among those who come to them seeking jobs— between those
who shave the irbeards and those who don’t shave them.
If this is true, then
is it permissible to be clean shaven in order to get the job?
Answer: Shaving the beard —whose prohibition is based
on obligatory precaution— would not become permissible just by the desire to
get a job with these companies.
Question: Is it permissible to shave the two sides of the face and leave the hair on the chin?
Answer:
Shaving the beard is haram based on obligatory precaution, and this
includes the hair that grows on the sides of the face. However, there is no
problem in shaving the hair that grows on the cheeks.
Question: Is it permissible to play games of chance of all kinds on electronic machines (computers) without betting or with betting?
Answer: It
is not permissible, and it is treated the same as normal [non-electronic]
gambling instruments.
Question: Some permissible games use
dice in them.
So is it allowed to play with it?
Answer: If the dice is not from the tools that are
exclusively for gambling, then there is no problem in using it in non-gambling
games.
Question: Is it permissible to look at what the non-Muslim women normally expose of their body during the summer season?
Answer: If the glance does
not entail lustful desire or temptation [to commit sins], then there is no
problem in it.
Question: Is it permissible to look at the picture of a well-known muhajjaba woman who appears without hijab in that picture? [Muhajjaba means a lady who observes hijab.]
Answer: Based on
obligatory precaution, one must refrain from looking at other than the face
and the hands of that woman; even in the case of these two, it is permissible
without lustful intent and temptation [for sin].
Question: Is it permissible to look at non-Muslim women who are naked or half-naked in television and its like for the purpose of fulfilling the inquisitive nature with no guarantee whether or not sexual desire will be aroused?
Is it permissible to look at them in the streets not for the purpose mentioned above but for arousing [the sexual desire of] the husband towards his wife?
Answer: It is
not permissible to look with lust at the naked live scenes, on television,
etc.
Rather, based on compulsory precaution, one must refrain from it at all
times.
Question: Is it permissible to look at arousing scenes if one is sure of not attaining arousal?
Answer: If it is a naked [indecent] scene, then based
on obligatory precaution, one should refrain from looking at it.
Question: Is it permissible to view sex movies without lust?
Answer: It is
not permissible at all based on obligatory precaution.
Question: There are certain television
stations that offer monthly subscription for their programs that are not of
immoral nature; but after midnight, it relays sexual movies.
Is it permissible
to subscribe in such programs?
Answer: It is not allowed, unless one is confident
about himself and others [in the house] that they would not view the sexually
explicit material.
Question: In some countries it is
customary that the person who arrives [at a meeting or an office] will shake
hands with all who are present including women, of course, without lustful
intention.
And if he refuses to shake hands with the women, it would be
considered abnormal, and more often than not it would be considered an act of
contempt and insult towards the woman.
All this would reflect negatively on
their view concerning the person.
Is it, therefore, permissible to shake hands
with women?
Answer: It is not
permissible. And the problem should be tackled by not shaking the hands of
anyone or by wearing gloves, for example. If this is not possible for the
person and he thinks that refusing to shake hands would cause great and
unbearable difficulty for him, then it is permissible at that time. All this
is based on the assumption that it is necessary for him to attend such a
gathering; otherwise, if it is not possible for him to refrain from
haram, then it is not permissible for him to attend such a
gathering.
Question: In Western countries, shaking
hands is considered as a means of greeting and salutation.
Refraining from it
could sometimes lead to losing job and education opportunities.
So, is it
permissible for a Muslim man to shake hands with a woman or for a Muslim woman
to shake hands with a man in circumstances of necessity?
Answer: When refraining from touching is not possible by wearing gloves or such like, then it is permissible, especially if not shaking hands would lead to considerable harm or great difficulty that is normally unbearable.
Question: Is it permissible for a Muslim man who resides in the West to marry a non-Muslim woman especially when Muslim women are scarce. That is, in spite of the dangers that exists in regard to children because of difference in language, religion, ways of upbringing children, values, and social customs — all this could lead to psychological problems for the children?
Answer: It
is not permissible for him to marry a woman from Ahlul Kitab on
permanent basis.
Although temporary marriage is permissible, we
advise not to have children by her.
This applies, if he does not already have
a Muslim wife, who is away from him.
In this case it would not be permissible
without her consent—rather even with her consent, based on obligatory
precaution.
Question: Some companies have produced an item similar to the woman’s vagina that some men would place over their penis at bedtime for carnal desire. Is this classified as masturbation that is forbidden?
Answer: It is haram
if he seeks to ejaculate intentionally or ejaculation is normal [in such a
circumstance] for him.
Rather, based on obligatory precaution, he must refrain
from it, even if he is confident of not ejaculating.
Question: What is the view on a man embracing another man with lust, and go about kissing one another with sexual desire? What if they go even further and enter the domain of deviant sexual behaviour?
Answer: All of this is
haram even if there might be difference in the degree of
prohibition.