Full text of the speech that was delivered by the representative of the leading Marja’iya in Europe at the Seminar on RSE (Relationship & sexual education) in British schools
23 Jamada II 1440
In the Name of the Almighty
It has been narrated from Imam Sadiq (as): ‘A time will come on people, when religious individuals, who honour their religion, will be like clutching burning coals’
These are some of the features during the time of occultation, which are full of sedition, injustice, oppression and corruption! These acrimonious acts, -which are targeting, and/or are aimed primarily at –all female and male believers,- require them to keep their faith and remain firm with their resistance [jihad un-nafs]: The best Jihad! Therefore, it is called ‘the greater jihad’; there is no greater jihad than this! Circumstances have compelled us to live in a country with different traditions, while its attitudes and norms are entirely different compared with the countries where we were born, used to live in and grew up, due to the injustice of oppressors and dictators! However, there are certain crucial points:
The first: This abovementioned fact does not mean for us to forget the fundaments of our religion, nor to ignore our faith, moral values and the language in which we were brought up and raised with, and have inherited from the purest Prophet Muhammad (sawas) and his infallible family (as)! On the contrary we have to use this opportunity to raise our new generations to be equipped with modern sciences which are beneficial to humanity, such as medicine, engineering, pharmacy amongst other modern sciences. This is recommended by the High Authority [marji’yyah] in Najaf for the Muslim children brought up in diaspora. These advices are derived from the commandments of the Prophet (sawas) and the Holy Imams (as). It is narrated from the Great Prophet Muhammad (sawas) that he has said: "Wisdom is the pearl for a believer, so whenever he finds it, he wouldn’t hesitate to take it". Also it has been narrated from the Gate of knowledge, i.e. Imam Ali (as), who is the gate of the Prophetic (sawas) knowledge: Eat from each flower, but select the best of them, as the bee consumes the most cheerful coloured flowers, but it generates two precious essence: one through which people may be healed, the other through which people may use for their lights.
Second: We are gathered together in this evening having arranged a seminar entitled: ‘Teaching Sexual relationship in British schools’! There’s no doubt that gaining knowledge about this field and studying it –is beyond any doubt- combined with benefit as long as it is limited to the biological aspects, as it explains for the pupils the fertilization of the egg through the sperm and then the development of the foetus in his mother's womb! One has no objection at all against that, because it is beneficial and provides useful scientific information in the field of biology and medicine! However if it is intended to reveal -with extreme nudity- the whole process of the sexual intercourse itself, then it is necessary to take into consideration, many points of guidelines, and the most important of which are as follows:
• This relationship must be explained associated with the moral values and disciplines that one ought to adhere to, including the consideration of privacy, while sometimes not to –necessarily-mention the details with explicit words! While talking with adults, one should implicitly refer to it while indirectly hinting to it, without explicit reference! In addition while addressing the teenagers, one should be entirely careful not to declare anything explicitly! These are the moral codes of conducts of Islam as they were established by the Qur’an, and the practice of the Infallibles (as). The Divine sacred text, i.e. the words of God in the Qur’an, as well as those of the infallibles (as), refer to the sexual relationship with non-explicit words such as saying: (to go into your wives) (you have touched women) (go into them) (you have known each other)! Even while referring to the WC, the Arabic has used the word "excrement" [الغائط], which is a place that is far from sight.
• Islam has also based the relations within the family members with certain manners, which are necessary for the preservation of shyness! The children are trained to observe certain codes, in order to promote modesty! The Qur’an has declared certain times for the child to seek permission, not to enter without consideration.
The Qur’an states: ‘You who believe, have those whom your right hands control and those of you who have not yet reached puberty, ask permission from you on three occasions: before the daybreak prayer; when you take off you clothes at noon [for a siesta]; and after the late evening prayer. You have three times for privacy.
There is no objection for you or for them outside those times as they move around you so some of you may wait on others. Thus God explains signs to you; God is Aware, Wise. * Whenever any children of yours reach puberty, let them ask permission just as those before them have had to ask for such permission. Thus God explains His signs to you; God is Aware, Wise’
‘Allah, the Almighty has ordered Muslims in this holy verse, more specifically the parents to train their children, who haven’t reached the age of puberty, to seek permission before entering the room in three times: They are 1) before the sun rise for the morning prayers, 2) at noon when the parents could be relieved of their clothes, and 3) after the prayer of supper when they are getting prepared to sleep! These three times are of extreme importance for Muslims to respect their parents’ privacy! Children have no right to access to their parents, without special permission, because they are often lightly dressed, or maybe have taken off their clothes and are naked.
The Prophet (sawas) said: "I swear by the Lord, who has created my soul, if a man has a sexual intercourse with his wife, while –in the house- there’s an awake boy, who can watch them and hear their words, he will never succeed [in perfectly training him with chastity]."
About Imam al-Baqir (as): ‘Do not have a sexual intercourse, where there’s a boy, who can watch you, while he is able to describe conditions.’ In its educational guidelines, Islam has recommended that the parents should refrain from allowing any form of sexual enticements for their children. They should prevent any form of enticing images or sexually provocative pictures or phrases! All of these guidelines are meant to keep pace with the law of human Instinct, and positively control the sexual orientation of children until they reach the age of puberty and -finally- maturity.
This role can only be done by chaste fathers and mothers who would refrain from any acts that are contrary to chastity in their actions during the absence or the presence of their children.
• Islam has indicated the need to segregate between children in their beds, as one is fully aware about the importance respecting privacy and shyness, because shyness -being for the personality of children or adults- has been highly appreciated, namely through giving it the value and precious status within the family environment and society at large! If one looses this precious moral quality, the characteristic would overturn the morals of the child upside down! It would lead him/her to commit any kind of stupid acts, reverting or changing the atmosphere of the family and the community towards violence and uncivilized manners.
• Religions view shyness as an extremely needed quality in the personality of the human being, just like the precious stones that must be preserved, while it would be forbidden to be lost! The general rule sounds like the following: ‘Anyone who is without shyness, s/he has no religion! Anyone who has no religion, one shouldn’t expect from him/her any loyalty nor any truth and/or sincerity.’ It has been also narrated in the Hadith: ‘shyness is considered as a crucial part of faith, and faith is to be located in paradise, while the seed of staleness, is in Hell-fire’. In another hadith: ‘shyness and faith are combined in a unique way. If one of them goes, the other would follow after it.’ In addition, the ahadith of the Prophet (sawas) and the infallibles (as) refer to the extreme need to adhere to the etiquette of cohabitation! The author -al-Hurr al-Amuli- has held a detailed section with this title: ‘Etiquette of cohabitation’ [Adab ul-mu’asharah]! Here follows some of the ahadith, which are quoted:
1-The Prophet (sawas) has said: For two boys, or for the boy and the girl, one must segregate them in their beds at the age of ten years! It is mentioned in some other narrations from the infallible Imams (as), even at the age of seven years!
2. Narrated from Imam Mussa ibn Ja’afar al-Kadhim (as): It is confirmed that Imam Ali (as) has said: Ask your boys to pray and train them to practice it, if they are at the age of seven years, and divide them in their beds if they are at the age of ten years!
In these ahadith, the Islamic norms are identical with the natural law of instinct [fitrah]! As it has ordered to segregate them in their beds, so when the children are over the age of six, one would have prevented any contact between their bodies, in an enticing way, while the healthy institution of perfect up-bringing requires the strict rules in order to follow the natural instinct, and keep any form of sexual activities ignored and forgotten.
3. The Prophet (sawas) said: If the girl is six years old, the boys are not allowed to kiss her, and it is not accepted for a boy to be kissed by the woman if he exceeds seven years old.
4. It is narrated from Imam Sadiq (as), that he was asked by Ahmed ibn al-Nu'man, who said to the Imam, that he had a captive girl, who is not his daughter, nor one of his relatives! How should he behave with her? The Imam (as) said: ‘Do not let her sit on your legs, nor your lap, and do not kiss her!’
Kissing, hugging, sleeping together, and touching the child's private part, are all prohibited things that Islam has warned us against! These guidelines are all meant so that our children would not become sexually perverted, so that they grow up in following the codes of chastity and the right path. The parents must subject their children to follow a wise program that is consistent with the innate instinct, thus it may lead them towards the right path of happiness and tranquillity. It has been confirmed amongst psychologists that sexual awareness and/or activity in children is kept rigid or ignored between the ages of 6 and 12. As psycho-analysists say that this period is a period of atrophy, in which relationships between boys and girls or between children -of the same sex- exist, albeit solely to pure love detached from any form of sexual lust. The driving sexual force wakes up during puberty –reaching its peak with its strongest level-, because despite the fact that this drive or libido was hidden (under the ashes), it will, after this age, begin to break out and to be manifested in different forms. That is why we find Islam has asked us to be cautious in this matter.
Based on this point of view, Imam Ali (as) Foundation has organized this seminar in order to raise the awareness of our parents about their children, and to be aware about the effects of those dangerous steps that are to be taken by British schools. Perhaps through these activities, one may draw the attention of the responsible authorities to think twice about the interests of the nation of this country. We wished that they should have thought about their future, and be aware about the degeneration and moral decadence that heavenly religions have warned against falling into perverted traps, especially as we are living in a free country where everyone is free to express his/her opinions.